5 REQUIREMENTS FOR SOLID FRIENDSHIP


     Friendship is a very essential relationship for a happy and successful life journey. It is one of the core relationships one should develop and maintain in other to have a memorable and enjoyable life. Life is easier and more fun with genuine friends: People with whom you can be yourself completely without fear or shame.
     In this world of falsehood and a strong desire to impress and meet people's expectations. Talk, dress and behave in a certain way to be accepted. One of the most salient benefits of having friends is that you can be yourself. No faking, no need to impress.
     Friends will be there for you even when some family members may not. Friends become family, they believe in you sometimes more than you believe in yourself. They know you enough to help you even with things you never knew about yourself. Everybody needs a friend. We all can do better and live sweeter lives with genuine friends. (why we all need friends)
     A Major reason people shy away from friendships is that, like any relationship, it can go bad. Just like any relationship that is worth keeping, there are there are crucial values that must be upheld if any friendship will be strong and stand the test of time.
     Instead of deciding never to have friends again owing to the situation where someone disappointed your greatly, why not rather decide to get it right next time. To have a better friend and relationships
     Below are vital requirements for a solid friendship relationship. Look out for them and agree with your friends to work on them but most importantly, offer these to whoever is your friend and you will unconsciously have a world class friendship, such that will be the envy of many.
1)       LOVE
       It goes without saying that whoever must be friends must love each other. Love is vital in any friendship. The kind of love in friendship is definitely not romantic. This you must know ruins friendships among the opposite sex.
     Phileos is the Greek name of friendship love. It involves fondness and  likeness. You should like this persons personality and character. Trying to build friendship with who you obviously do not like his way of doing things or who doesn't accept you as you are will not work.
    In fact, friendship even develops first from liking one or two things about this person and having some things in common. The more things you have in common both in activities, history, preferences and personality the better and easier for friendship to develop and be sustained. This is because people love themselves and therefore love whoever is like them.
    There is yet another kind of love "Agape" which is superior and very essential for friendship. Agape is unconditional and undeserved. That means you  love your friend without his having to be worth it, not as a result of how good or loving she is. She isn't perfect but she is YOUR FRIEND. You should want their good and be quick to forgive them when they misbehave.
    This is the kind of love God has for mankind. To have the capacity to love unconditionally like this, one must know God who is love and have received his unconditional love. It is impossible for humans to love a bad person but that is what God did and still does for us despite our rejection of him. This is such love that changes a sinner into a saint even a die-hard criminal will be changed genuinely from the heart. They become forever indebted to you and are gravitated towards you.
     Humans need love especially when they do not have to pay for it with a painstaking change in character first. Love your friends unconditionally and you have gained their friendship forever. You will even end up changing their bad attitudes unconsciously without asking for it.
2)     LOYALTY
          Loyalty is a quality of being dependable and reliable. Your friends can trust you not to betray them. You can be trusted with classified information and secrets. This is one of the most important requirements of solid friendships.
    People want to be free with there friends. much of what they want to say or do around you they would not do or say outside neither do they want people to know about them. Not necessarily bad things but things like insecurities and life challenges. They want to tell someone their struggles,  mistakes and their fears, cry and laugh informally without being judge and no fear of it being mentioned outside
    People want to know that you are their own friend who will not let out their secrets or use it against them I time of quarrel. Even when both of you are no longer friends for whatever reason the secrets told you in confidence must not be used against them. You may think they won't do anything to you if you do and you may be right. But it destroys your reputation and possibility of other people trusting you with information. This is one way many people have shot themselves in the foot.
    As a friend you may get to know some mind boggling things. You must know how to handle them properly especially when your friend is at fault or in danger. Provide the needed help and be there for them. Support your friends all the way the way you would want to be supported. Do not be a betrayer stand with your friends in times of failure and mistakes. They will ever be grateful.

3)     COMMITMENT
       Many people have habit of not taking things seriously including our relationships and friendships. If a friendship must work and be solid, both parties must be committed to it. It must not be a matter of one party trying hard to make it work  while the other is complacent.
   
     If you do not want to be friends with someone be upfront about it. But if you do want to be friends then like the holy Bible says "show yourself friendly"  make deliberated efforts to keep the friendship alive. There are few things that keep friendship going, like visiting, calling, chatting up etc. Play your part.
    In fact be the one doing the more than friend is, let him be indebted to you. Provoke him to love by your own love. If for any reason you are not there, your friend should feel the vacuum. Do not be the one that is being pushed to respond not with relationships you value else you will become friendless
    This is how even beautiful friendships die. When one party or both become less committed and concerned to the relationship, The other gets tired with time and stops trying too,   so great a friendship that once flourished dies.
    That  you new and exciting friendship right now, it is because probably both of you are passionate about the whole thing. Fueling communication and committed to each other if you must keep this friend you'll must continue to let him know you are committed to the friendship and to him as a person. That way his own commitment is also drawn out. If he isn't then you need to look for another friend who understands the value of friendship.
4) VALUABLE
  Contribution  You must be a friend who adds value to people's life. Apart from being committed to them, you must be making them better. Do not be a bad influence on your friends, serious minded people will leave you sooner or later. Do not be one that adds nothing of meaning to their lives likewise do not make friends with a useless person.
     Some friends are parasitic and we know them all. Everyone avoids them as time goes on. It is never wise in the long run to only gain and never contributing to your friends. Pay your own share of the transportation fare, money for eating out, the movies, snacks, whatever requires payment. Except of course you do not  have, in that case your friends must know you really do not. Even when your friend does not complain, never you take them for granted. If you continue being parasitic and clingy you will ruin your chances with good people.
     Improve your friends character. there are bad habits and blind spots they have and are probably not aware of. You are in very good position to let them know and help them get through them. Do not give them conditions that until they changed you won't be there friend however help them change by first accepting them.
      Compliment them on their good performances and character traits. Help them improve on thier talents, recommend mentors provide them materials, buy them books related to their passion and talent.
     Make efforts to know them very well and complement them. Help them with difficult tasks that are easy for you to do. Sacrifice or them. When a person finds a valuable friend, they cannot let them go. It's priceless and they will in turn will become invaluable friends.
5) AVAILABILITY
      This means you are THERE for your friends. But come to think of it, what are friends for? We want our friends to be there for us all the time. In bad times we want to let out our hearts only to trusted people. We may not cry any where else but in the presence of our people. Their presence alone is comforting. Knowing someone understands us. In good times who else do we want to celebrate with? Celebration is nothing without them.
    Your friends want you there. There are some situations when it is abominable for you not to be there with them. They lost a loved one especially in African setting. A major failure or setback. You will know of such situations that will affect them very greatly. Depending on the level of the Friendship you should be there ad soon as possible to help them pull through. This is friendship.
     If you cannot come make sure they know why and do come as soon as possible. It is situations like this that you are required to make serious sacrifices like with your time. It must also be pointed that how you react to them in dare need like this will greatly affect how they view you and the relationship. Friendships take a new phase after a major event happens to one of them. They either become closer or farther.
    Sometimes your friends demand your attention, they want you to come, distress calls. Some are urgent. Never fail to attend to their emergencies and even when you think it's not urgent, never treat them frivolously. When a Friend asks for your help give, and if you can't decline politely but never you make them look stupid for asking.
      The secret of solid friendship is to outdo your friends in love. They will become indebted to you and will try to do more for you. That way friendship love and sacrifice is mutual. It is said what though you do not choose your family. You can choose your friends. Friendship is beautiful. 
See you at the top 
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